Decisions and Consequences - what a difference a month can make

We are sharing a little journey we have been on the past 3 months.  This is sure to stir up some comments from my mothering friends, but Alyssa partnered with me on this blog post, so please refrain from freaking out. I already know how people feel on this subject, so no need for you to share.

On April 4th, I traveled to Florida on business for a two week trip. 

Alyssa designed the menu as part of her Personal Progress goal.  

We shopped for the necessary groceries and she was going to take care of Dad while I was away. 

However, plans didn't work out so well.  

$200 of fresh foods went to waste, while the pantry was cleaned out of all packaged food. 

Clearly, when the cat is away, the mice will play. 

When I returned, we spent two weeks 'cleaning up the damage'. 

Two weeks later, I took Alyssa with me to Florida to try to mitigate the same disaster again. 

It didn't work and we had a terrible week and I literally threw my hands up in despair on how to best guide her.  

Don't be fooled by this 'happy' photo taken in Florida.

I constantly analyze what I am doing that causes her behavior or when I might be wrong and need to revert.  I do want to do the right thing.  One learning that came of this busy time period is that my therapist told me take care of myself emotionally first and that may mean I would have to 'let go' of helping with other areas in the family.

After some thought, prayer, analysis of evidence, and discussions, I let go of managing our vegan diet and Alyssa's nutrition.  Since coming into her life, 4 years ago when she was a little girl of 8 years old, I have been actively teaching her about health and nutrition.  She enjoyed the benefits of that, little did she realize.  It was now her turn to apply the knowledge and own her decisions.

I let go of asking her to brush her teeth, floss her teeth, wash her face, take care of her continuous leaky ears, and all the other areas that I nagged her to keep up. 

Now backing up a bit; for three summers we were spoiled with Alyssa able to wear the same shorts.  Her waist stayed a size 8 while her height grew 8 inches in 3 years. This summer was the year to throw out clothes.

With a new hair cut and a new change in life, we took these photos at the beginning of June before she left on a summer vacation. 

 She came home 3 weeks later on June 30th a new person; an inch taller, 13 lbs heavier, and lots of red dots littering her face.  Grandpa wanted to be sure he wasn't blamed, it was simply his job to spoil, not to control her serving sizes!  :)

 

WOWZA, what an accomplishment! 

 Not 5 minutes into her arrival, she was heading out the door to go to swim team.  Because we were in the bedroom changing, it provided a quick opportunity to talk about the elephant in the room.  We both knew it was there, why pretend it wasn't? 

We had a discussion about decisions, consequences, ownership, and where to go from here.  I was sure to heavily impress upon her;  her weight and shape is great and I want her to be happy with her image.  I asked questions about; did she enjoy making her own food decisions, is she happy about her shape, does she want support in any area etc. 

Her coaches were thrilled with her new weight and her added strength.  They immediately saw a difference in the water. 

Later, she let me know that she wanted to be able to fit into her jeans again and not have her thighs touch.  I said.. good luck.. most of us women have thighs that touch our entire lives.  This was now a life long journey that all women and now most men must manage and control.  Food can be a drug, so pretending it isn't is just plain denial.

 She wanted to do a triathlon in August, she wants to eat vegan, but that she needs my help.  She also said she isn't sure how to deal with all the adults that make comments to her about eating vegan.

She jumped back into routine of swim, bike, and running.  

Two days after she arrived home she participated in an informal biathlon in Newport Hills. 

Nurse Nana and I begin discussing serving size and re-introducing Alyssa to a proper proportioned plate. Thank you Nana for your gentle support.  

We dont want to be a family that fears discussing weight or size, so we make it a common topic so it doesn't have to be weird. Everyone on here reading this knows I have struggled with my weight since I was 14. I hated my weight for most of the last 22 years.  I hope to inspire her enough to not live that same way.   

July 1 - 88.6

July 3 - 86.2

July 10 - 84.8

July 15 - 82.8

She doesn't have a number that she is seeking, nor do I encourage that.  She will determine for herself (without your comments) what shape and size she wants to be.  She definately hates it when others enable her eating by acting like kids can just eat any treat they want without considering the other foods recently ingested or the exercise level.

We know we can say goodbye to the pre-teen era as we are entering into the full blown teen years. 

So for now, we say good bye to the scrawny little girl that day dreamed of vacuuming in her suit. 

We are off to new adventures in a new phase that soon I will missing too, I know how fast these cycles go by.  Now that work has settled down, I am investing a lot more time into her and it seems to be paying off.  It's definately a journey, sometimes fun and sometimes not.  

Thanks for reading and really, try not to get too worked up over this 'touchy' subject that is supposedly off limits to most people. It's not off limits to us.  Ask us any day to see our id cards or what we weight that day.  There is nothing to hide, it is what it is!