Our Thanksgiving Celebrations

I am grateful that the three of us were able to spend the holiday week together, healthy and safe.

Thanksgiving Eve

We finally ventured out into the weather after 54 hours of being trapped inside our home during record setting low temperatures (15) and icy streets.  What a cool storm and a nice break from the office. I am so thankful that I could work from home Monday - Wednesday.

Wednesday night, we ate at Wild Ginger because they have a nice vegan selection to choose from and it is next door to the Benaroya Hall. 

We saw the 19 year old show,  Forgotten Carols starring Michael McLean.  It was a nice spiritual show about the Messiah.

 We sat in Row H, so a quick pose by the stage was easy.

 The cast of Forgotten Carols

Thanksgiving Day

The alarm went off at 5:30am!  We had originally planned to run a half-marathon this morning.  Since there was snow on the running trail and Snoqualmie Pass opened the mountain, we decided to head up to ski instead.  Alyssa did great and has a season pass this year, so we expect a lot of progress out of her. With this winter being La Nina, there will be plenty of opportunity to ski.  Today was 23 degrees and snowing.  I was impressed with the great snow for opening day.  We plan to ski on Christmas Day as well.

I began thinking about this day, many months ago.  We have been eating vegan for 6 months now.  I was a little worried how our animal free meal would pan out. 

1) Would it feel like Thanksgiving without a turkey?

2) With us planning to be gone all morning, how would I cook? 

However, we were home by 2pm and were eating by 4pm.  The meal was surprisingly great.   Troy boiled and mashed the potatoes the day prior and made the mushroom gravy, so that helped reduce the Thursday cooking.  

Our menu:  

Field Roast (aka: Grain Log)

Red potatoes - mashed

Mushroom Gravy

Roasted Butternut Squash

Steamed Brussel Sprouts

Homemade Whole Grain Rolls

Pumpkin Pie

I have to tell you one of my favorite things about this meal is that the kitchen/dishes were all cleaned up BEFORE we even sat down to eat.  The pie cooked for 30 minutes while we ate dinner and voila, what a simple, clean, healthy and stress free holiday. 

I feel so relieved that we were still able to enjoy the Holiday without contributing to the suffering or mistreatment of any animals.

By 4:45, relaxing with the warm fire, we were able to start THIS movie. 

Bedtime is at 7pm - whew, what a pleasant 24 hours this has been. 

Finally, I can't end this day without stating how happy I am that as a family we have chosen not to waste any energy,  money, risk injury, nor give up quality sleep, tonight or tomorrow on Black Friday for shopping. It makes me sad to see so many people consumed with 'stuff' and I worry about them if they do not have the cash to buy the stuff that they want.  I wish more people would find happiness in life without 'things'. 

And a shout out to all theTURKEYS who gave their life today, I am so sorry your life was so miserable and tortured.  What a sad tradition.   

Turkeys are too neat to eat
Turkeys are intelligent, inquisitive and social animals. Yet, many people do not think to turn their compassion towards them. Turkeys are flock birds that can fly up to 50mph, and even swim if necessary. As mothers, turkeys are among the most protective in the world and their young remain under their care for up to five months.

The farm is no treat for those you eat
Despite their sensitivities, turkeys are excluded from the Humane Slaughter Act. Like other animals raised for food, turkeys are systematically demeaned, tortured and slaughtered. Turkeys are reared motherless on factory farms. They are forcefully inseminated, crowded in small cages, injected with growth hormones and antibiotics, and trapped with the piercing of their own cries and the smell of their own death. For this holiday, over 250 million turkeys were killed for food.

There's plenty to eat without eating meat
Thanksgiving is a celebration of life. We ask you to take the death out of dinner and make this Thanksgiving a Gentle Thanksgiving. Share the joy and plenty of healthy breads, stuffings, vegetables, fruits and desserts. We also recommend meat alternatives such as Tofurky. Tofurky and other turkey alternatives make kind & delicious meals!

Family photo shoot - 11/6/2010 - Tolt MacDonald Park in Carnation

Thank you Sarah for spending the time and patience with us. 

It was fun in the rain.  

I loved the 1953 truck that Tom allowed us to use. 

I loved that my mom came and got photographed with this truck, since 1953 is a special year to her. 

I loved the barn and the bridge setting too!

And it was fun to be on site with TJ, Patti and Madison.

  

  

My mom

Tom, owner of ARTie (Awesome Red Truck)

Follow-up and more learnings about ADD

I have been medicated for 11 days now. 

Here are some learnings I have gathered in that time. 

• I lost 9 lbs in the first 8 days.  Nice, but not so nice too!  I will spare you the one gross detail I have been dealing with, just imagine that I got dehydrated the first week. 
• The first day, I was awake for 18 hours and then barely could get 4 hours of sleep total. 
• However, the second day, it wore off after 9 hours, precisely at the beginning of Relief Society.  I became very irritated.  This certainly confused me.
• Day 3, I experimented with 30mgs and liked that better.  
• Summary:  began on 15mg a day, after 2 days I went to 30mg, after a week, I tried 45mg.  30mg actually feels completely normal now and my appetite is back by 50% at that dosage. 
• I now take melatonin at night to get better rest. 
• I read the book, Healing ADD by Daniel G Amen
• I had more than 20 people reach out to me and give me real solid support.
• I found out that I have many acquaintances with their own types of ADD and we share some similarities.
• Some people go off medicine and add in exercise and vitamins.  This is interesting to me, I already did exercise a lot and take nutritional supplements.
• If a child is diagnosed, then there is a 60% chance a parent has ADD. If both parents have it, child has a 90% chance of having it.
• Head injuries, toxic exposure, early infancy neglect or abuse, druge abuse, lack of exercise or poor diet can contribute to ADD
• ADD teen girls are more sexually promiscuous.
• Video games cause pleasure, increasing dopamine release but later cause a problem for children when they need to focus on school and have less neurotransmitters available
• White flour and sugar diet as well as video games and television - have created poor health habits contributing to ADD.
• My friends in India have never heard of this, they don't have it there... very interesting.
• Other behaviors such as OCD, bi-polar, Tourette's, depression, manic-depression, anxiety - can all have many similiar characteristics as an ADD person.
• The brighter the child, the later a person is diagnosed.  This is because many will overlook the disruptive behavior if intelligence can offset it.
• Most ADD people eventually hit a wall., as I did! 
• They can see ADD in brain scans, there really is science behind it.
• ADD children do not want to keep getting into trouble, they just can't control it.
• Some people can simply take St John's Wort to gain some traction to their symptoms
• Other common medications to aid in brain control can include Prozac, Ritalin, Effexor, Risperdal, L-Tyrosine, Dexedrine, Carbatrol, Depakote, Neurontin, Tegretol, Wellbutron, Concerta, Paxil,
• Knowing your type of ADD is critical to pairing with medication or supplements
• ADD is a generational disorder, meaning that ADD in one family member significantly influences the development of each member of the family.
• Drug and alcohol abuse are common in ADD patients - again, the brain is drawn to it
• Overfocused patients are drawn more to alcohol abuse because it can settle restlessness
• Many marriages can't survive ADD, if gone untreated or undiagnosed
• Many ADD patients play mind games because their brain is looking for an effect or a settlement and doesn't know how to find it.
• Often, the harder an ADD person tries to concentrate, the worse it gets.
• Protect yourself from head injuries, this is really important at any age 
• You can get real neurofeedback treatment to understand your brain.
• Sleep deprevation or poor sleep habits, increase symptoms.

Health

• I no longer crave sugar
• Could my low protein vegan diet have set off my ADHD to a higher more chaotic pattern?
• Do I need to add in more protein and in what formats?
• Continue to keep toxic stuff out of my system, such as caffeine, nicotine and alcohol.
• Get enough calcium, zinc, magnesium
• Eat more black and kidney beans
• Get enough healthy types of fats
• Don't drink juice, it is just sugar
• B vitamins are very important
• Focused breathing or yoga - very helpful

Here are some characteristics that I know about myself, that I didn't know could be related to my ADD.

I think I have overfocused ADD (deficiency in serotonin and dopamine).  Many times the symptoms  of dopamine deficiency include hypothroidism, low blood pressure, low body temp, cold hands and feet, restless leg syndrome.  Possible suggestions could be St John's Wort and L-tyrosine. 

• As an elementary kid, I always blurted out inappropriately without consequence.  Fortunately, I was a good student, but I was always in trouble for my mouth.
• When things don't go my way, I often explode.
• My angry outbursts throughout my life, even in public, have been embarrassing.  This is due to the brain desiring stimulation.
• Impulsive
• Enjoy arguing or stirring things up.  (however I thought I did this for thought provoking change to take place)
• Very irritable when things in my house are not just 'so'
• Really not into being touched, generally. 
• Wait, you mean people really can read books without being 100% aware of their surroundings?  I don't get lost in my books, ever.  I do love to read though, but not in my final stage of my worse case scenario - I couldn't read at all during that timeframe.
• I walked at a very young age, 9 months and learned how to walk in a traveling vehicle.
• Am criticized for worrying too much
• Tendency to hold strong to my opinion

Things to ask my parents:

• Was I overly active in the womb?
• Did I have colic?
• Was I fussy eating infant?
• Was I excessively active Toddler?
• Was I difficult to toilet train?
• Was I compliant with your discipline?
• Did I like to be held?
• Was I always in motion?
• I think I know I was talkative, noisy and demanding?!
• Did I have an early head trauma, specifically the left prefrontal cortex?
• Were forceps used in my delivery?  
• Early childhood bike or car accident?

With all my new learnings and awareness, I am armed with tools/tips to better control my own behavior. 

I own my behavior. 

My diagnosis is not an excuse for poor behavior.

I am so grateful to know this information now, it really really helps me 'get it'.

Diagnosed at 35

Alright, here's the deal.  I completely admire the people that I know and don't know who have used their blogs to tell their stories.  Their stories have allowed us to see their challenges and struggles and learn from them or feel empathy for them or someone else.  It helps us realize that we all have problems but that the Lord is still there and the Gospel is still true.  Recently, there have been some famous blogs of ordinary people, sharing their candid stories of infertility, adopting, fighting brain tumors, dying of cancer, being burned, a toddler drowning in a canal, a friend's struggle with finding out she was pregnant for a 4th time, then she shared all the details of the labor, another friend shared her detailed labor story too, a woman's story of her 5 yr old dressing up as a girl for Halloween, another toddler drowning in a bathtub and then being brought back to life, a delivery gone bad and more. It seems great that more and more people are not hiding their lives to put on a front.  Instead, they are sharing to help others.   Thank you for your stories, for being brave, for allowing me to read about your private life.  It helped me. It changed me and I am still working on more changes to be more like you!

Blogs that affected me because they were willing to be open and share their story to see that NONE of us are really NORMAL.
There is no such thing as NORMAL. 
We are all just making it through life at our own appropriate pace. 

http://patrickandashley.blogspot.com/

http://wildthing-ithinkiloveyou.blogspot.com/

http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/

http://babyabigailrose.blogspot.com/

http://braintumorparent.wordpress.com/

http://sccsdecker.blogspot.com/
http://stakerzxposed.blogspot.com/
http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

Since you will all be able to hit REWIND to the VCR in Heaven and know what really went on in my life, I will save you the trouble and just open up myself to you here and now.  I pray my story, my openness, will help someone else with something, anything.  I just want to share to help. 

For the past 25 years, I have known that I was hyper.  Many things frustrated me, burdened me, confused me and I knew it was all in my head.  My friend explained this, "I used to have no patience, everyone was moving too slow, no one did it the correct way, or even if they did, I could do it better."  Yes, that is what I felt.  My head felt just out of control, not normal.   BUT how can you really know what is normal, normal to you, normal to someone else, normal for life?  To protect myself, I became controlling and bossy.  It was the only way I knew how to function.  Fortunately, I had a huge desire to succeed, to check things off the list, to go the distance.  I got lucky that through my years, enough people liked me and also were patient with me.  I am so grateful for everyone who has ever crossed my path.  I promise, I learned something just by knowing you or meeting you.

Through my 20's I know I manifested my behaviors very strongly.  However, I was able to control them enough to 'get by'.  I was able to complete a lot of schooling and land good employment.  I now wish I had really understood what was wrong with me so I could have controlled it better, who knows where I could be now if I had received help earlier.   

Surely, anyone that has ever known me has observed this from me: 
I fidget, I just hate sitting still
I can't go to the movies very well or watch a full movie
I look up the ending to movies before I watch them to eliminate uncertainty
I am always on the go
I like to blurt out answers
I am impatient, intolerant
I like to show my emotions, or rather, I hate controlling them
I like to jump into other's conversations, even strangers in an elevator
Have acted without realization of consequence
Little children and places with lots of people - make me feel overstimulated.  I used to hate eating at Cheesecake Factory because the menu is too busy.  YIKES.  I don't really like fairs, festivals, parades, large gatherings or concerts. 
I am selfish
I really don't like to have 'fun' like others do, it seems careless and out of control.  FUN for me was simply checking things off the list and a sense of accomplishment.
I fulfill my responsibilities
I don't like to burden others, so I hate to accept help, I hate accepting charity.
I didn't want to owe people.

I thought these weren't that bad. Infact, I actually enjoyed that I was so personable, honest, bold, and received many compliments on 'being real'.  I certainly don't put on an act for people.  You get the real deal with me.  Why pretend? 

Fortunately for me, I didn't have these problems:
I don't lose things
I don't forget things
I don't space out
I don't let others down
I am not lazy

Instead my strengths were always:
I enjoy exercising
I enjoying managing details
I am a planner, man.. I LOVE to plan...I love to plan more than I like the thing I planned for
I enjoy being out of bed before the sun comes up
I love completing tasks
I enjoy talking to people
I enjoy multi-tasking
I do know how to act appropriate most of the time
I can force myself to make good professional eye contact
I am strong, I am confident, I have opinions and can make business decisions
I love trying new things.
I love a challenge
I get very curious to see how change/events are going to affect life - like a new building built into a community, additions onto roadways, natural disasters, death, illness, work re-organizations, even a new President that I didn't vote for.

To cope - with the fleas jumping around my head -  all these years:
I created great structure for myself, very rigid daily schedule
I kept lists and lists and checked them frequently
I write down everything at the moment I think of it, before I forget
This helped me to stay organized and feel in control of my life

As life took on more and more craziness, I had to keep simplifying.  Ex: all the sheets and towels in the house are white now, for easy laundering.  I stopped decorating my house for the holidays, it turned into too much burden.  I stopped running with loud banging music.  I took the color out of my house and paint and went to something that was bland.  I stopped hanging stuff on the walls.  I enjoyed selling off stuff that was collecting dust.  Quitting alcohol was easier than I expected because I no longer had to worry about my behavior during those times, nor the calories.  I didn't have to feel bad about wasteful sitting around and drinking moments, now I just had time to accomplish more, more meaninful things.  I became very particular and communicated my preferences easily to others.  I eliminated friendships or associations because I felt so overwhelmed at working at them.  Maybe I didn't feel worthy of them.  Anything to make life efficient, that is the direction I have headed.  I had to do these things to protect myself, to cope, to manage daily life. 

The last two months have been difficult.  Coming off of summer threw us some curve balls.  Things felt different.  Troy started school again, Alyssa is in 6th grade and entering young womanhood, I started a new job and am now the sole income earner.  WHAT?  It sounds like normal life right?  Well, each week just got tougher and tougher.  BUT WHY?  Our lives are simple.  We eat healthy, we sleep regularly, we exercise 4-5x a week, we pray together, we spend tons of time together as a family, there really wasn't more we could do to simplify or live normally.  BUT in my head, it was all getting too unclear and too noisy.  I couldn't focus correctly.  I couldn't make the fleas in my head stop bouncing around.  I TRIED, I did everything I could to make my mind work the way that I should be able to control it to do.  Nothing was making sense FAST. The harder I tried, the worse it got.  It was so apparent that something was really feeling wrong.  I know myself well, I know my body and my thoughts well.  This was now uncontrollable.

This week, it all came to a head for me (ha... pun).  I needed to take action, I just couldn't go on the way I was. My head really bogged down.   I couldn't complete a thought and even while speaking I would lose my train of thought.  I was irritated by EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.  Noises, people's voices, people's quirks, other's absentmindedness, UM's, too much detail and MORE.  It was really getting ridiculous and unmanagable in my head.  I wasn't happy any minute of the day.  It was spiraling down into a funnel.  I then became depressed, hopeless, anxiety riden and scared.  Most important, I needed to do well at work and I need to get along with my family.  Alyssa has entered the challenging phase and I was so frustrated at fighting her on everything.   WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO ME and WHY SO FAST?

Saturday - I ran with my girlfriend for an hour.  We talked.  She began planting the seeds I needed to realize that I might have a problem that could be fixed. 
Sunday - had a terrible family fight because I couldn't control my emotions.
Monday - spoke to my Relief Society President for an hour and got some tips on how she handled her kids
Tuesday - had a great day, I focused intently on not reacting to anything and took Mary's advice.
Wednesday - went to Therapy and got a lot accomplished.  I felt great when I left, I had some direction and things to work until I saw him again in a week.  What I really gained out our talk is that my 'old software that has worked 'good enough' for the past 20 years, is no longer going to work'.  It was time for an upgrade.  By that, I mean, my methods of coping no longer work in mid-life when life gets crazy and there is so much to deal with.  However, I got home and had another major setback in reacting. 
Thursday - Alyssa attended therapy and got her own bucket of tricks to begin helping our house come together again in harmony  (wait.. does family and harmony go together?) I saw my Primary Care Physician and we begin discussing what I could take to cope and 'not sweat the small stuff'.  I didn't want to take medication.  Medication is for people who are weak, who don't utilize the Lord for help, for people without will power to control themselves. 
Friday - Saw a specialist and she gave me three tests.  And then she said so calmly and matter of factly, "you have ADHD, a type of it that is normally uncommon in women."  She wanted to put me on something for it and said, 'well, what did you think of medication?'  I told her I was against it.  She asked me if I had ever done the drug SPEED and if so, what was the effect?  I said, "yes, many years ago, only a few times, but I was very controlled on it and people didn't like to do speed with me because I overmanaged the party situation and didn't have 'fun' on it."  She said, "GOOD, very GOOD information for me to know. "  She said also said that it is very common in adults that htere comes a time that the methods they used all along no longer work and middle of life steps in and becomes too much to handle.  So, there you have it. I had reached my maximum ability to cope.  AND man, my life is not hard or complicated.  It is good, but I still was struggling. I still wondered why I didn't have the faith to just pray and ask Heavenly Father to help me or cure me.  I decided I wasn't patient enough to wait for his timeframe, I needed help immediately.  I signed my drug contract and off I went to fill my prescription. 

ADHD.. shoot, what a terrible stigma.  I had put so many labels on that.  For years, I felt the medical field was over-diagnosing people.  I thought this really was about idiots drinking too much caffeine and sugar.  I really didn't want a label, I didn't want to be in this group.  This is so lame.  I am defective.  Great, Troy married a defective person.  grrrrrrr.  I joked for years that I had this, but really, I thought it was a lame diagnosis and would never fall victim to that joke.  BUT I am now officially diagnosed by three doctors,  I accept my challenge and can now begin to work through it and with it and hopefully not struggle so much. 

So here I sit - one week later - reflecting on all that I learned and had the best day today than in a really long time. (yes, the medication works instantly).  I was mad the past few months, but now I am glad.  Glad to have had so many wonderful people this week help me and guide me and TALK to me.  THANK YOU, you know who you are.  I am trying out some medication to see if I can get my head to slow down and I can concentrate again and also roll with the punches of life, real life.  Being the sole income earner is stressful for me and yet I want to and need to succeed at work.  So, I have no choice but to take something to focus right now.  I also need to learn how to allow Alyssa to go through this difficult pre-teen phase and not get so upset while she finds her identity and independence. 

I pray to the Lord that someday I will be able to 'cope' naturally again.  I know there are natural safe ways to deal with this, like yoga, martial arts, & vitamins.  But for now, this is what I must do.  I am labeled and I am medicated - but that is ok.  Hopefully, that means I will develop deeper meaningful friendships and love others more freely. 

Thank you for listening and I pray it helps someone else realize that....WOW.. we all have something to work on, don't we?!   If life were perfect, we would have nothing to work on.  We would have had no reason to come to earth life to gain these experiences.  Heavenly Father sent us to earth to grow and GROW I WILL. 

Please forgive me for anything I may have done to you due to my insensitivity. 

I hope to treat others better now. 

Thank you for understanding.

Keep in mind, I still want to be Scheris, but I want to be a little bit better Scheris. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder
http://adultaddstrengths.com/2006/02/09/top-10-advantages-of-add-in-a-high-tech-career/

Oregon Photos

When we went to Oregon recently, we met up with my family! Here are the Warmbrodts. We have three November birthdays, so it was fun to spend time with my 83 year old Granny. 

 I also took some quick shots of Alyssa playing in the leaves. Saturday, we will have our real family photos taken.  I can't wait to see how they turn out!
I love seeing how grown up she looks.

 
 
what a smile
 
 
 She snapped one of me.  Oh, how I love the leaves!