Know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away

It's amazing as a parent, the journey that seems so big or so small at the time, and later becomes something more different than you ever expected.  Today, I had my 'come to Jesus' moment.  I had to face that I was the one holding on.  I am the only one mourning our change, today.  These lyrics sum it all up for me, You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em,

Know when to walk away and know when to run.

There's never been a question about this, she likes the water. 

Kids don't always know what they want, they just want to do something. 
So in 2009, I encouraged Alyssa to seek out a sport, "you know, like swim team."
To get her ready for a swim team, we began with the Learn To Swim- four week classes at Covington.

Level 3:  5/26/2009

Level 4:  7/23/2009

Level 4: 8/23/2009

Level 4: 9/28/2009

Level 5:11/19/2009

Level 6: 12/16/2009

She served me faithfully back then.  You know, you remember right? Those were the days that have come and now gone...the days when kids were easy; submissive, willing to please, life is simple, no hormones drowning their brain.  You tell them they had a fun day and they go to bed believing it!  

She was such a small gal back then on this small bike!   

But the truth was, she always just really liked to just play in the water, not really work.

She will grow out of the 'just play attititude'. 

She is young, she will begin to crave the muscle work, or so I thought. 

We explored with a Diving Class 12/19/2009. 

But all she really just wanted to do was play in the water! 

After all the lessons, she moved up to Competitive Swim 2/24/2010, and a bigger bike.

Gosh, she looks so young there still.

Finally, she was ready for the King Aquatic Team.  She tried out on 10/14/2009. 

She started in the Developmental group. 

I never pushed her to feel like she was working toward a scholarship. 

I just wanted her to work hard, have fun, and feel the reward. 

She looked like she was having some fun.  Her friends came and went and we would talk about them quitting too soon, not really going for it.  She continued to humor me, but looking back, I should have realized, all she really wanted to do was play!

Time passed, and she built great form in every stroke and muscle too, both which she appreciates.  She improved her times too!

But all she really wanted to do was enjoy the birthday swims, the birthday cupcakes, and play!

We traveled to a few meets and made family weekends out of them too!

But she still just wanted to only associate the water with playing.

I thought if I got involved and was just as bit dedicated to the sport, she would feel like it was 'our thing.'  The requirement is that parents volunteer a total of 24 hours per season.  It worked out great that Microsoft matched  my volunteer time with cash donation to the non-profit organization.  I became a Stroke and Turn Official and essentially had 'front' row seats to all the meets! She said she liked it when her friends would ask, "your mom is an official?"  They seemed impressed and she liked that. 

We even got her to explore her interests of biking and running and participate in a few triathlons.  She bought a big girl bike!

But somewhere along the way, we didn't make as much time to play.. and my fun was no longer her fun.  She began to lie and skip practice.  The first time we caught this, was 12/27.  Troy and I were so looking forward to date night.  We couldn't believe that she would seriously sit in a bathroom stall for 90 minutes doing nothing.  That night, we said, "YOU ARE DONE, no more swim."  She cried, she begged, she fought for it.  It blew our mind, she seemed to actually care.  So, she won, the next day, we caved and said, "Ok, you can swim, we didn't think you wanted to, so we were trying to do you a favor."  However, then she replied with saying she didn't want to suddenly.  We were so confused.  We kept thinking she didn't really know and all kids have hard days.  Isn't that what parents are for?  To carry them through, motivate them, give the pep talk? 

Well, fast forward another 6 weeks to 2/14... she didn't want to go to swim and I made her, as I always had to.  Typically, she comes home and thanks me for making her go and that she had a good practice.  I mean, really, like 90% of the time.  Well, on this day, she wasted 2 hours by sitting in the bathroom stall and doodling on TP.  It took a week to unfold her lie about where she was and who she swam with.  I couldn't deny it any longer, this was the NOT GOOD. 

I really never wanted her to do the sport for me.  I was not one of those moms, obsessed.  

This face became our new norm and I knew we were done.  

She quit trying to make friends, the coach said she made angry faces when she received drill instructions.  I held tight as long as I could to try to motivate her and see her through this tough period.  We weren't going to be quitters, like the other families that had come and gone.  We were dedicated.  We spent thousands of dollars over the past few years on this sport.   BUT she wore me out and after the 100th 4pm-fight-as she was headed out the door to swim team, I realized it was time to call it. 

Time of death; 4:25 PM, 2/20/12. 

We have closed this chapter in our life. 

Yes, I am terribly sad.  It was still worth it all, I know she would say the same too. She learned alot that won't ever be forgotten. I learned a lot about her and I and parenting.  BUT in this moment, I can't believe it is over.  It took me a long time, but today I realized, it was time to fold, time to walk away, time to let her play in her own way.

She wants to do track now.  I am guarded.  I can't yet imagine getting personally attached or invested, this has to be her own thing.  I have taught her enough in this area, she can ask for help if she needs it now.  We have pushed her plenty, she has accomplished a lot, but down this path we now go.  

Let's see how much she really thinks she likes to run, when her parents aren't 'making' her.

Sunday night, she made a phone call to an 8th grader in our neighborhood and set up a running date for today.  They did a whole mile.. wow.. I have such high hopes... :(  Anyhow.. the good news is that now she is free about 3 extra hours a day, and any mom will know that there are always ways to add value to the house!  :)  I think about 4:00 today, she was rethinking her choices. 

So, as I close this post, with my tears of grief. 

However, I can also joyfully exclaim, I'm going to have one nice clean Master Bathroom this evening! Goodbye KING... it was nice knowing you., but it's time to walk away.   

Shock, Love, Amazon, and 37

Troy's week was quite a roller coaster. 

Monday 2/13 at 7pm
Troy's cousin Hilary lost her oldest son age 16.  Blake went home in an instant during a tragic car accident. It's been so so so sad, even with faith of the Lord's plan, it hurts so bad.  This photo is all the children that are from Troy's three cousins, Heather, Hilary, and Heidi.  What a wonderful collection of souls. 

Tuesday 2/14

For the love day, I made Troy a banana creme pie, and this did give his taste buds some cheer, but still hard to be happy when you know close family suffering.  

Thursday 2/16
Troy's journey to land an internship has been very long and emotional.  I was so proud of him for owning all the work and being very deliberate in his actions and choices. Yesterday, he had a high and a low in a matter of 15 minutes.

• Oct 4 - Microsoft open chat
• Oct 4 - Amazon information session
• Oct 5 - Attended an Employer panel 
• Oct 11- Resume Workshop
• Oct 19 - Fall Career Fair (Microsoft, Google, Amazon - completely blew question from Amazon rep)
• Oct 24 - Tech interview training (Google, Amazon, White Pages)
• Nov 2 - Microsoft UW campus 45 min interview
• Nov 8 - Invite to interview on Microsoft campus, date TBD 
• Jan 3 - Recent grads talk in class - sent resume to Groundspeak
• Jan 12 - Google office hours - met with Yin to be prepped for applying to Google
• Jan 13 - Microsoft Interview day 4x45 min interviews, 6.5 hrs on campus
• Jan 18 - Maq software phone interview
• Jan 24 - Winter Career Fair (visited with Google, Amazon, Tableau)
• Jan 26 - Microsoft rejection (after 7 hrs and 15 min total time)
• Jan 27 - Tableau interview invite
• Jan 31 - Mock Interviews set up by UW CS program, pick the employer of your choice = Google
• Feb 2 - Tableau phone interview
• Feb 10 - Groundspeak group interview

At this point he was feeling down about not receiving interview offers from Google or Facebook

• Feb 14 - Amazon UW campus Interviews 2x45min
• Feb 14 - Tableau invite to round 2 interviews
• Feb 16 - 3:00 PM Groundspeak rejection - feeling very concerned and disappointed
• Feb 16 - 3:15 PM Amazon called to congratulate him and give him an offer (have until March 1 to accept)  He would start June 18 and work 12 weeks until September 7.

And one more interview to consider before this is over.

• Feb 23 - Tableau planning 4.5 hrs of interviews

Congratulations Troy, on receiving a wonderful offer!  Wow.. what a happy boy!  

Friday 2/17
Troy turned 37 today!  Happy Birthday my love. 

 And thank you Connie, Troy loves his wall mount monitor stand!

I will make him some Steak to finish off a crazy week and end his birthday on a good note. 

You know the drill, here's ours....11 in 11

Gosh.. before this year gets along much further, I must do my 2011 post.   As a family we decided on this list.  It was a great year of growth for our each of us.  We are extremely grateful for all we learned and experienced and for those that helped us along the way! 

1) Troy and Scheris' trip to Banff and Jasper National Parks in Canada
2) Nick pointed out that our Olympic National Park Beach Hike was a lifetime highlight
3) Troy was accepted into UW's Computer Science Program
4) Mike and Cindy (Troy's dad and stepmom) drove west and painted our house
5) Scheris met up with family she had never met, gained a HUGE appreciation for my heritage, gathered pictures, stories, and got a jump start on two big projects:  Record my Grandma's life story and create a heirloom recipe box of my own. 
6) Alyssa and Scheris spent nearly two weeks in Utah and attended all sessions of General Conference
7) We flew east and spent Christmas in Pella with Troy's dad and stepmom
8) Alyssa was thrilled to begin using the Liahona Online Education Program
9) Troy produced a great garden and graduated to having a greenhouse
10) Alyssa got to attend the temple and be a proxy for loved ones
11) Troy thinks that our top 11 is that Roxy is down 24 lbs this to a slip 78 lbs, way to go Skinny Doggy... however, no mention of his wife's 40 lb loss, I guess we know who his best friend is!

The Unthinkable - awesome book

I have always been drawn to crisis, disaster, and emergencies, but this year, I learned so much more about all the many options of participating in community programs and discovering that there are now degrees in this subject.  I am intrigued by the human psychology of it all.  In November, I was blessed to sit next to the Head of Security for The Four Seasons Hotel Chain, while in route to China.  We talked the entire flight and wow, that man is smart.  He recommended that I read "THE UNTHINKABLE: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and Why" by Amanda Ripley (www.theunthinkable.com). I did and I have to say I ATE it up, I loved every word.  The book is probably my top three favorites now!  I took notes from the book and just had to share them with you.

The author consulted over 1000 articles from academic journals and media reports and 75 official reports on specific accidents and spoke to numbers of survivors.  She references for the reader over 30 real situations that have occurred and dissects the Survival Arc of Emotion that has been studied about human behavior; Denial, Deliberation, & Decisive.  Amanda further dives into Delay, Risk, Fear, Resilience, Groupthink, Panic, Paralysis, Heroism, and finally Making New Instincts!  Some valuable survivors were interviewed for the book and their knowledge and memory provide unbeatable lessons and insight.  Survivors offer our greatest hope for understanding what emotions they faced and how they made decisions.  Disaster experts think about disasters for a living, I really would love to be in this professional field.  

Disasters Studied and Referenced
ü  1212 & 1666 – City of London burned down
ü  Winter 1904 – Coal Mine disaster outside of Pittsburgh, 181 died
ü  1912 – Titanic cataclysm
ü  12/6/1917 – Mont Blanc collision, followed by explosion, fire, blindly smoke, , gas exposure, tidal wave, flooding, blizzard, leading to famine, all during the war, 1963 people died and led to a PhD dissertation, “Catastrophe and Social Change”
ü  WWII – Nazi Experiments on prisoners
ü  May 1960 – Chile Earthquake
ü  9/9/1965 – Hurricane Betsy
ü  1969 – Hurricane Camille
ü  1974 – Pago Pago plane crash, 5 of 101 passengers lived, all had read the safety card
ü  3/27/1977 – Pan Am 747/KLM collision
ü  1977 – Beverly Hills Supper Club Fire
ü  1/13/1982 – Air Florida Flight 90 crash, Potomac River
ü  1990 – Stampede killed 1426 people from panic
ü  1992 – Series of sewer explosions in Guadalajara, Mexico
ü  2/26/1993 – World Trade Center attack
ü  9/28/1994 – MV Estonia Ferry in Baltic Sea – worst sea disaster in modern European history (989 people on board, only 137 survived)
ü  1996 – Parsons, West Virginia Flood
ü  1999 - Columbine
ü  12/2004 – Tsunami (compared 1907 to 2004, town of Langi, island of Simeulue (lost only 7/78,000)
ü  7/7/2005 – London Terrorist Attacks, 52 dead, hundreds wounded
ü  8/2/2005 – Air France flight 358
ü  8/29/2005 – Hurricane Katrina
ü  1/12/2006 – Saudi crowd stampede
ü  5/19/2006 – Emergency plane landing
ü  4/16/2007- Virginia Tech Massacre
ü  2007 – Southern CA wildfires
ü  9/11/11

Before diving in, the interesting thing about disaster, fear of disaster, is that we worry more about the things that most likely will not happen to us, then the three biggest killers that we can help prevent, Heart Disease, Cancer, and Stroke. 

Ok, back to the subject at hand though….The best way to get the brain to perform under extreme stress is to do repeated drills, the military calls it the 8 P’s - Proper Prior Planning and Preparation, Prevents Piss Poor Performance.”  One thing that we don’t want to have to do during a disaster is, THINK.  We need to be able to just act.  The time to prepare is GONE.  The brain responds poorly to fear.  However, when people believe that survival is negotiable, they become creative. When we give people the opportunity to do something, they will step up to the task. Only after disaster strikes do ordinary people realize how valuable they are in those types of situations.

Just as we marry who we date, we die with those we hang out with.  So, who you hang out with DOES MATTER.   In fact, during a disaster, we are most likely going to check in with 4 or more sources before acting upon the situation.  We all are concerned with social perception and it does affect our decisions in those critical moments.  Human beings don’t like to be singled out or present ideas that may be mocked, nor do they like to be seen as an over reactor.  Unfortunately, that means we would rather follow a group decision that is fatal, than be left alone to survive. In a disaster, strangers aren’t strangers anymore. 

Of course, during a disaster, it is all about the BRAIN.  I learned so much about how powerful it is, just from this book.  The first rule of fear is that it is primitive.  Fear moves through our body before we can even realize what has occurred.  When that signal reaches the brainstem, neurons pass this information onto the amygdala, which is central to human fear circuit.  This part of the brain handles fear by cascading a series of changes throughout our body.  The chemistry of our blood literally changes.  If a gunshot wound, the blood automatically begins coagulation.  Blood vessels constrict so assist in trying to not bleed the body out.  Blood pressure and heart rate increase, while hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline surge through the system giving our muscles extended power.  Often many people later experience an odd taste in their mouth; this is from the massive dose of hormones and painkillers.  The brain is super busy working so hard, but can only do so much and so it prioritizes.  Because it is doing all it can to protect the organs and the body, it abandons the ability to reason and familiarize ourselves in the surrounding deteriorates quickly.  Normally cortisol helps us to handle complex thinking, yet in the cortisol is busy working on other things, so we can’t handle truly handle how to solve something so easily as how to unbuckle a seat belt or inflate a life jacket.  We can even lose eyesight because the body just can’t take care of all parts at once.  Our nonessential functions shut down; digestion, salivation, and unfortunately often our bladder and sphincter control.  Now, the amygdala understands danger in two ways; Low road (quick and dirty) & high road (accurate and slower).  The cortex of the brain is the outer layer of gray matter involved in the higher brain functioning and it can recognize sounds too and send messages to the amygdala.  However, this is a much slower process and normally we need more time to utilize this beautiful process.  This is the highroad.  As well, consider our emotions are also trying to use up brain power and those are often guided by our former life experiences.  Although our amygdala size does come from our genetic disposition, the brain can be trained to respond more appropriately and quickly! 

Evacuation:  Did you know that planes are designed so that all passengers can escape in 90 seconds AND that is even with only half the exits available and with debris in the aisles.  However, most people don’t pay attention, some ladies wear high heels, many bring their personal belongings, many delay their jumps at the door, and majority of the time, there are NEEDLESS deaths.  In contrast, people who read the safety card and count rows to exits are less likely to get hurt during an emergency.

The experts had to realize that people do not move like water, they do not escape from fire as they should; therefore more unnecessary deaths are associated with this disaster.  Whereas, water molecules do not experience pain, fear or stumble and fall, humans fill space unevenly, by clustering, taking short cuts, stay a wrong course, rather than continue to assess as they move along the way.  They aren’t like synchronized swimmers.  People just don’t understand smoke and how paralyzing it will be when they face it, nor do they anticipate the noise of fire.

Leadership is so important, in fact time and time again, trapped miners tend to survive when a leader has emerged during the midst of a disaster.  Also, when flight attendants aggressively scream, ‘jump’ to each person who approaches the door, people move faster and do not waste time considering the situation.  Often, rescuers yell meanly and profanely at their victims, to get them to listen, to break their stupor.

Profile of a survivor has also been studied and has a trend.  We all think we know how we would respond, but we are most likely all wrong.  However, there are very predictable behaviors that we can see in ourselves now to determine more of the reality.  You may be surprised to know your everyday basket case co-worker or your overly confident manager, just MAY not be what you think they will be during a crisis.  Before we can even think about how we will respond emotionally though, unfortunately, our physical traits are going to help or hinder us.  Overweight people suffer the most, they are slower, their organs work harder, and they are plagued with heart attacks and strokes.  Because they take up more space such as in stairwells and because America is getting bigger, evacuation hinders all people trying to navigate an evacuation route.  In fact, they are 3 xs more likely to be injured or face death.  Sex also determines a chance of survival.  Men tend to survive better than women, however, in some disasters we lose more men because they take higher risk or feel the physical burden to walk into smoke or the over confidence to drive through flooded water.  Women who wear high heels face extreme problems during disaster.  Then there is race and status as well that can affect a person’s survival.  Members of close knit communities or even those that still use the ancient systems to warn and aid, share knowledge through the generations and tend to save more people. 

Panic – can be catastrophic, and yet is preventable. Trait Anxiety and State Anxiety – Trait is basically your normal stress level and a person’s tendency to see things as stressful; State is how one reacts to a stressful situation.  There are people are more prone to lose touch with their reality when under physical stress, their brains become overwhelmed.  They may not cause a stampede or mass panic, but they are likely to put themselves in sudden and intense jeopardy.

Paralysis can be a tragedy or it can be a saving grace.  Under a variety of circumstances, there are times when people just go limp and do nothing. It is very intriguing to the psychologists and yet happens more often than panic and is called the negative panic.   This is not necessarily failure though, this is strategy.  Many predators lose interest in their prey when there is no struggle.  This is an ancient way of avoiding food poisoning.  Rape victims often report they experienced this natural pain killer.  Human beings think, reflect, and make decisions and we don’t always know how much of our brain is at work. 

Heroism – It’s not genetic, not personality, religious, politics, chance, nor wealth.  BUT rescuers did tend to have healthy close relationships with their parents and have diverse set of network and EMPATHY. Would you believe that discipline as a child plays a part?  Those that were reasoned with were rescuers, those that were whipped, where not.  Heroes have confidence in their own abilities; they believe they shape their own destiny. Sometimes what looks like altruism, is actually the opposite.  We do it because it benefits us in some manner. Isn’t it interesting that strangers often treat each other so badly in daily living, yet will do tremendous acts for others in the worst of times.  If you didn’t get anything out of it, you wouldn’t do it.  “What were you afraid would happen if you did NOT help aid in a rescue?”  “I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life, wondering if I was capable of ‘rising’ to the situation.”

I love that there is a Carnegie Hero Fund and that 9000 medals have been given for those who have voluntarily risked their lives to an extraordinary degree to save others. Most are men, most don’t have high status jobs, and most rescues are for strangers.  Tend to be physical laborers, often in rural areas and small towns, most cite their moral values, and lessons learned from parents and wider community.  Male, single, childless, and young – that is who you most likely find rescuing!

Ok, this one is a bit embarrassing for me… the book talks about fantasy rescue or over preparation.  Now, I don’t have a fantasy to rescue, but I do feel pretty prepared.  Amanda says though, that some take it too far and have even caused problems during real rescue efforts.  BUT I just don't want to have the moment when I think, gosh.... if only I had a whistle right now or that water would have been good to keep under my office desk.  I don't want to die because I failed to prepare and you know what they say, "failing to prepare, is preparing to fail."

Amanda was afraid to highlight Heroism in her book, but in the end, obviously she did.  She said one disaster’s hero is another’s accomplice, meaning so much depends on the situation and even luck.  Actually, she realized this is true for all disaster behaviors.  Denial may work for one person, but not the other.  However, heroism is typically more nebulous than the other behaviors discussed, yet it is still true.  It may be still a survival strategy. 

Finally, it was a bummer to read about the legality that prevents proper training and drill practice.  Even our driving training lacks in today’s day and age.  Handling 3000 lbs. of metal is not intuitive, but it is possible to re-wire the brain to have car-control skills and crash-avoidance maneuvers.  It’s not productive to tell people how to get out of a skid, nor to remain calm in an emergency, the brain instead needs subconscious programming.  It is a fluid and adaptable machine.   I loved reading about the company Master Drive; in fact I will seriously consider sending Alyssa there to learn how to properly drive!  http://masterdrive.com/ this nationally recognized company was created by Ronn Langford in Colorado after he lost his teenage daughter to a drunken driving T-bone accident. 

Ok… I hope you will read the book and also know these are some basic things we SHOULD do;  On every plane ride, know your nearest exit and know other exit options, count the number of rows to an exit, take the stairs in every hotel you stay in, take the stairs of your office building 1x per week.  Basically, just practice your life, think about where you spend the most time and that is most likely where you will be during a disaster.  People who have some familiarity with their disaster personalities HAVE an advantage.

And remember my buddy from The Four Seasons, well his brothers were part of the ALERT program headquartered in Texas.  They attended each summer and the program helped them prepare for disaster relief and by developing the heart of service in them.  Cadets learn to respond and work alongside local, national, and international authorities, to provide crisis response assistance, disaster relief, and humanitarian aid. Gosh.. wish they had this for girls!

Anyhow, this was way too long of notes, but I just loved this stuff and really recommend you read the book if you found this interesting!

Recipe Box Makeover

While in Pella, I learned many a tid-bit from Troy's step-mother.  She is very neat and organized and has a trick or helpful hint to nearly everything in life.  I wish she would write them all down for me.  Needless to say, it wasn't in line with her character to have such a 'full' recipe box, but I came to learn and appreciate how much she cherished the handwritten cards from her mother and therefore kept the older, dated, small 3x5 wooden box.  I realized, I wanted an heirloom like this and that I could get one started.  It was already on my list to work with Alyssa to create 30 recipes for her by the time she leaves for college, so that at least she knew how to prepare 30 meals.  I went to the two antique shops in town (Windmill Mall & Funky Junque) and picked up three wooden boxes.

I began with a plain wood box, 4x6 size, and decided to make it a wedding gift for Amelia Cannon.  I would partner it with my favorite measuring spoons, create a Recipe for Marriage, order recipe dividers, and recipe cards so she could begin collecting handwritten recipes from her oldest living relatives straight away.   Here is the end result. 

 Before I left Pella, we asked Mike and Cindy to write down some recipes.  We have more relatives to send cards to now to get their handwritten gems recorded too! 

Now, I will start my own box.  Here is how I picked it up and it will be a shame to lose this pretty paint job, but I want to create my own look.  Next I will ask Troy to help me by sanding and painting again.  Then, I can add brown/black paint to age the corners. Stay tuned.... 

Thank you Cindy for inspiring me and helping me to create an appreciation for this treasured heirloom.

Christmas Week Happenings 2011

Our Christmas Vacation was 10 days in Troy's original hometown of Pella, IA.  It was an important year as Troy and his father Mike had not spent a Christmas together since the 80's.  There's much to mention, so it is hard to keep this post to an acceptable reading length, so I may have to break it up into three posts;  Christmas Week Happenings, The Recipe Box Make Over Project, and notes from The Unthinkable.

However, if you are just looking for a summary of our Christmas; a sample of photos are below

• We went birdwatching (Bald Eagles, Cardinals, Pelicans, Hairy Woodpeckers, Barren Owl, BlueJay to name a few)
• Watched Hallmark Christmas movies
• Tried new recipes (such as Sandy's Calico Beans and Baked French Toast)
• Learned tips and tricks on how to be frugal from Cindy
• Everyone submitted their Bowl picks and the guys watched every game, while Mike tracked all the results, (Mike is currently ahead)
• Cindy and Scheris walked ~6-7 miles each morning
• Alyssa did puzzles beyond galore, sheesh, who knew
• Visited antique stores
• Attended the local LDS branch
• Went to Christmas Eve Service at the Third Reformed Church
• Had a large meal with the Schuring relatives and the home where Troy's dad was raised and played a White Elephant game with a Sports theme and we came home with great gifts (Iowa Camelbak waterbottle, this Kelty picnic pack, and an UnderArmour beanie.
• Did family history, copied family photos and artwork
• Visited the oldest home in Pella, also where Troy's Grandfather lived for a few years
• Saw Santa
• Took the yearly photo of Alyssa in front of the Pella Town sign
• Learned a bit more about family member Gideon Rietveld's Patent #1778608, filed February 4, 1929 for his Match Box Holder design
• Did a few craft projects: felt poinsetta napkin ring holders, Antique Recipe box make overs, Photo Block Puzzle
• Relaxed in the hot tub
• Read books
• Visited and lunched with Alyssa's Great Grandparents and received tons of intricately hand crocheted doilies
• Alyssa and I dusted, photographed, and documented Cindy's 80 something Precious Moments and that was fun to read the names and touch each piece
• Drove by the Kansas City Temple, nearing completion of construction
• But most importantly this year - we gathered each night to dessert and discuss different aspects to the Original Christmas Story

All in all, it was a valuable family investment, but I do think we overstayed our welcome by about 6 days.  No matter how sweet they smile and won't admit it, I think our poor hosts had to have been sick of us.  I realized it isn't really possible to relax at the home of Family or feel good about relaxing when you know the hostess of the house is slaving over the details while the boys sit around watching football.     

wear out (one's) welcome

To visit so often or stay so long as to become a nuisance.

 

Needless to say, Grandpa's eyes appeared glossy when he drove away, so he was either super tired after hosting us for 10 days, or the air quality was bothersome, or he already was missing his son and grand daughter!  I think we overstayed our welcome.    

Summary of Christmas Discussions
Day 1
Read story in the 'Especially For Mormons' volume 3, when Mary tells Joseph of the pregnancy.  You can find it printed here.
DAY 2 - Saturday
We watched all 6 LDS Bible Videos
DAY 3 - Sunday
Listen to Charles Osgood – Luke 2
DAY 4 – Monday

Discussion: As we celebrate the birth of our Lord, we should remember to really focus on what Jesus did at the end of His mortal life and ministry.  The wondrous and true story of Christmas can be organized like so; 

• Preface - His birth in Bethlehem of Judea
• Prologue - His three-year ministry
• Substance -  His sacrifice
• Finally - the totally selfless act of dying in pain on the cross of Calvary to atone for the sins of all of us

There would be no Christmas, if there had not been Easter. The babe of Bethlehem would have occurred but he would have been just another baby.

We went on to detail the Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How. 

The significance of this mortal birth was more critical than we often realize.  It was not an experimental thing, nor an event that was optional in the plan of salvation. The coming of a part-divine part-mortal Jesus into the world, Son of Mary and Only Begotten of the Father, was an absolute necessity. The human family could be saved in no other way. Only the Lord himself, by coming into mortality, partaking of the nature of man, living a sinless life, atoning with his blood for the sins of men, dying, and rising from the dead with his physical body could bring about redemption. Eternal justice would admit no other way.

DAY 5 – Tuesday
Family Discussion:  We do not worship Mary, but we do revere her!   She is among the most worthy and noble of women—the most privileged of all mothers. And while Mary is not typical, she is an example to all mothers.
 We can conclude that as the Father chose the most noble and righteous of all his spirit sons to come into mortality as his Only Begotten in the flesh, we can also know he selected in the pre-existence, the most worthy and spiritually talented of all his spirit daughters to be the mortal mother of his Eternal Son.  Her life was one of faithful, obedient receptivity. She did not ignore counsel, but “kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” Luke 2:19

Day 6 - Wednesday
This night we pulled out Jesus' stocking.  We read our prior year committments and re-wrote 2012 gifts to our Savior and sealed them in envelopes and placed them back in Jesus' white stocking!

DAY 7 – Thursday - The Day we celebrated Christmas with gift exchanging
Read the children's classic story of Tootle.  About a month ago, this was introduced in Relief Society by Linda, a mother of four boys.   

The story tells of a young locomotive who is in training to become a big locomotive.   The locomotive will learn all the skills that  will be needed to become a successful locomotive. 

The most important skill that each train must learn is to STAY ON THE TRACKS NO MATTER WHAT.  

Tootle came to the school and was seen as a potentially successful flyer, running important routes, such as Chicago to New York.  He did very well in mastering most of the skills he would need to become such a wonderful locomotive. 

One day he was tempted to race a black horse that was in the meadow beside the tracks.  In order to win, he decided to leave the tracks and cut across the meadow.  He found that he really enjoyed the meadow and began visiting it more often.  He was failing at his original goal and the reality of reaching it was getting further away.  The people of the village came up with a plan to get Tootle back on track and out of the Meadows, as they had noticed grass and buttercups on the small train's wheels.  The community was critical to supporting this up and coming Leader, they had to help him remember the important lesson of "staying on the rails no matter what."  So they all worked together to help Tootle be the best train he could possibly be.  Eventually Tootle raced to get back on track. “This is the place for me” said Tootle. “There is nothing but red flags for locomotives that get off their tracks.”
Tootle became the famous ‘Two Mile a Minute Flyer!’

What a profound message this story holds for our lives.... what is our mission here on earth, where are those 'fun meadows' that distract us from returning home to live with our Savior? What is preventing you from becoming the BEST YOU?   How can we avoid the red flags and assist our fellow 'brother and sisters' in the doing the same? Distractions are everywhere and idleness is easy to justify, all of which don't really help us stay on track.  Pretty soon the fun goes away, bad habits linger, and we are frustrating our divine purposes, even longing for a way out.  BUT there is always a way to get back on the tracks, so we should not delay that action.  We each will face different kinds of distractions, but Heavenly Father has given us a designated path to come home, through the Lord Jesus Christ.  I love this book that reminds me to be weary of the 'meadows' and lean on my Faith to get me through the hard times. 

Here are some photos from the trip.